I've got a secret...
Friday, August 04, 2006
Hi, do you have a secret?....I think I might.
I was reading book today that was a compilation of anonymous secrets from different people all over the US. Apparently this guy traveled all over, passed out post cards and told people to anonymously send in their secrets. And then he put them all together into a book.
It was pretty intense reading many of the secrets that people have never told anyone else. Some of them were funny, others were sad and others were absolutely horrible.
I feel like when I tell someone something that I have never told anyone before it never actually sounds cool when I say it, I just kind of have to blurt it out, and then I feel a freedom of not having to hold it all in. Secrets are like the monsters under the bed, when they are brought out into the light they lose their power. And what I'm learning is that I don't have to hold all it inside when there are people who care about me around me.
Further thoughts: At this point, I have not decided whether or not I support the Postsecret project (because I feel a little disturbed about looking into the darkness in other people's lives without personally knowing them) but I merely recognize this project, as an interesting example.
I simply believe in the power of telling others my secrets. I personally have not felt the pain that many of the postsecret contributors have had pent up inside so I am not really sure how I would express that type of pain if I were in their situation, or if I would express it at all. So until I have walked a mile in their shoes, I will refrain from condemning this expression of their pain (which doesn't necessarily mean I enjoy reading it). Of course, I would love for these people to have friends that would listen to their secrets in person, but maybe they don't have someone who would do that for them or maybe they just can't tell their secrets to other people yet. So I am glad that these people are expressing their pain in some way (albeit through anonymous letters), which at the very least is better then either pretending they don't have their pain or not telling anyone at all. I guess I think of it as being a step up from just writing about their pain in a journal or diary and a step below writing about their pain using generalities on a blog.
But again it is not an enjoyable read: it draws you in with its colorful art and then drops you off in the darkest part of a person's soul. And it is certainly uncomforting, partly because it forces you to face you own secrets and also because it shows you a darkness in each person's heart that is typically covered over by common decency...it is the darkest part of each person, on the worst day of their lives.
I would bet that for many of the people in this book they have never told these secrets to anyone before so it has probably created the first steps toward freedom for them, which is great. And we can only hope that these people will find in the future the courage to actually tell someone in their lives about the secrets that haunt them and that someone will finally listen.
-mike morabito
14 Comments:
commented by 
CSUF Rock Star, Mon Aug 07, 02:16:00 AM
CSUF Rock Star, Mon Aug 07, 02:16:00 AM
I think I mostly agree with AJ. But we'll see once someone who actually has a dissenting opinion writes a bit.
But if you, Mike, are learning about actual relationship throug this (as your last sentence implies), then that is a very good thing!
But if you, Mike, are learning about actual relationship throug this (as your last sentence implies), then that is a very good thing!
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P.S.... I hate to interrupt the conversation on this topic, and I hope it continues because (like Stephen) I want to hear a dissenting opinion, but I saw this book in a Barnes & Noble email and I thought that you would love it, even though you obviously don't need it. For a moment, I even thought maybe you were the author, since his first name is Michael.... :D
The amused roommate,
AJ
<><
The amused roommate,
AJ
<><
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AJ, that was awesome! Now I totally know what Mike's getting for Christmas if he hasn't already bought it since you left that message.
On the topic of the blog, I think this is a totally interesting and rarely discussed issue, so nice work. I am interested not only in the secrets that we acknowlege in our own minds as the section of things that we will not tell others, but also that other part that we let ourselves forget about. I think that we may have secret parts of ourselves that we bury quite fully with behaviors and necessaryisms and rationality. I think there is another level of freedom that may be acheived when these parts are loosened by human connection, some freeing experience, or an accomplishment of confidence or desire.
There could never be a book of these things, they are not so concise or selling, really. I would imagine that most people live and die without ever having exposed this "secretness" rather than just specific secrets. I think it is so much more difficult to do. It's not something that you can explain on your deathbed to round out your life story... it's something you really have to live to expose.
I certainly hope that in our lifetimes we would all be able to live without our "big ticket" secrets stuck within us. I would also hope that we would be able to reconcile our secret lives with our "real" lives so that we can live completely authentically and experience the fullness that such a life can be.
On the topic of the blog, I think this is a totally interesting and rarely discussed issue, so nice work. I am interested not only in the secrets that we acknowlege in our own minds as the section of things that we will not tell others, but also that other part that we let ourselves forget about. I think that we may have secret parts of ourselves that we bury quite fully with behaviors and necessaryisms and rationality. I think there is another level of freedom that may be acheived when these parts are loosened by human connection, some freeing experience, or an accomplishment of confidence or desire.
There could never be a book of these things, they are not so concise or selling, really. I would imagine that most people live and die without ever having exposed this "secretness" rather than just specific secrets. I think it is so much more difficult to do. It's not something that you can explain on your deathbed to round out your life story... it's something you really have to live to expose.
I certainly hope that in our lifetimes we would all be able to live without our "big ticket" secrets stuck within us. I would also hope that we would be able to reconcile our secret lives with our "real" lives so that we can live completely authentically and experience the fullness that such a life can be.
I understand what AJ's argument about vulnerability and agree with it too an extent. We have to consider those in the world who aren't as blessed to have that freedom of vulnerability. There are so many people that were taught not to share hurts of the past but rather forget them. They’re so many people in this world that have become so numb to their feelings that they don't know how to be real with people. Sure they may have friends and talk about how their Parents were fighting again last night, or their boy friend cheated on them. But when it comes to the deep Dark secrets, those can be so dangerous. We may have a select few to whom we can share these deep secrets. These people might not be lucky enough to have a friend or mentor who could handle hearing that they were raped at the age of 7, saw their mom in bed with another man, has alcoholic parents, or what not. The point is: secrets shouldn’t be kept in these people's hearts, keeping them in bondage. I think that submitting an anonymous postcard is a great first step for these people to face their secrets and hurts of the past. Which will hopefully encourage them to find a way to share it with someone.
Plus I think it is good for the readers also, because (like mike said) it does force the reader to face his/her own secrets. But also encourages those with pent up secrets that they aren't the only ones with that secret, that it is more common than they originally thought, which can push them to seek help.
Plus I think it is good for the readers also, because (like mike said) it does force the reader to face his/her own secrets. But also encourages those with pent up secrets that they aren't the only ones with that secret, that it is more common than they originally thought, which can push them to seek help.
Oh, I like post secret. it's an emotional trip down guilt, release, fear, and expectation. a great collective expression between the relationship of corporate art and psyche.
I love the imagery that you use in your sentence, "... it draws you in with its colorul art and then drops you off in the darkest part of a person's soul."
I have heard about this website, but have never visited it myself. I take it that these secrets range from Jr. High pranks to felonies and etc.
Sadly, I think that some of the followers of this website might feed off of the negative stories and heartbreak in a very sadistic way. But others might also find hope in discovering that others share the same problem that they do, hence encouraging them to press on.
The duality that grips our modern culture fills many our outlets with both good and evil, distorting each to fit the particular view of each participant.
And so, we as Christians must use the true filter of our encounters, The Bible. In regards to this website, we know that the Bible says, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." - James 5:16. We can draw from this passage that a secure confession to a faithful confidant is a method of healing the pain inflicted from that sin and secret.
The key is a "secure confession to a faithful confidant." So often, our prayers for others turn into ways to share gossip. To treat each other with respect and love, we must hold to the trust that our friends instill in our character.
I can see how this website is a starting block for confession and repentance, but much more must come after this intial step in order to truly begin the healing process. We can help this along by being the faithful friend that our hurting others are in need of.
I have heard about this website, but have never visited it myself. I take it that these secrets range from Jr. High pranks to felonies and etc.
Sadly, I think that some of the followers of this website might feed off of the negative stories and heartbreak in a very sadistic way. But others might also find hope in discovering that others share the same problem that they do, hence encouraging them to press on.
The duality that grips our modern culture fills many our outlets with both good and evil, distorting each to fit the particular view of each participant.
And so, we as Christians must use the true filter of our encounters, The Bible. In regards to this website, we know that the Bible says, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." - James 5:16. We can draw from this passage that a secure confession to a faithful confidant is a method of healing the pain inflicted from that sin and secret.
The key is a "secure confession to a faithful confidant." So often, our prayers for others turn into ways to share gossip. To treat each other with respect and love, we must hold to the trust that our friends instill in our character.
I can see how this website is a starting block for confession and repentance, but much more must come after this intial step in order to truly begin the healing process. We can help this along by being the faithful friend that our hurting others are in need of.
Ok, I'm a little late but I still have a couple things to say.
First of all, I do support Postsecret, not because I ENJOY reading the crap that has gone on in peoples lives, but because I believe it to be a step for those who have been so damaged they don't know how to walk. Obviously I believe that the only way to be fully healed of the past is through Christ Jesus. This website (like any other form of therapy) is a stepping stone, a way to be expressive in a safe environment. I think the only comment that really made me upset was "But, precisely because there is no vulnerability, no risk involved, and no opportunity for any kind of meaningful response, I think that it's an empty act." There is nothing more risky then to be completely honest with one's self and facing what is inside of you. You can't say that the only meaningful act someone can make is to tell someone who knows that person. For some kids just writing it down is a huge mountain, then to be expressive, creative AND let it out, that is so much more.
One of the things I have encountered in troubled, hurt people is that they don't think their issues are valid, or important. For that person to see on postsecret, the very thing they are going through says "wow, it was big enough for someone else to send it in" and that has even been said in replies to those post cards. (which the blogger does post when people respond to a card).
I don't link or agressivly promote this site because again, I don't look at it out of enjoyment, but because I believe it is a small thing someone is doing to make a big difference in a blogging generation. The fact that he has a tour show of the cards and books (which profits go to community projects and suicide help lines) says so much more than for someone to blog it and never know if anyone will see it, or respond.
Peoples emotions and thoughts are so complex that we can't say one thing works more than the other, each person is diffrent and has different needs. Again, the only true healing is through Christ, ANY other form of therapy is a product of our human nature and responce to it. Instead of discouraging these people from letting things out that they have never been able to admit, take a moment to read what they have to say, and pray for them.
This opinion comes from one who has been through much, and knows that the people closest to you can't always help. Imagine what torment it is to not have anyone at all?
First of all, I do support Postsecret, not because I ENJOY reading the crap that has gone on in peoples lives, but because I believe it to be a step for those who have been so damaged they don't know how to walk. Obviously I believe that the only way to be fully healed of the past is through Christ Jesus. This website (like any other form of therapy) is a stepping stone, a way to be expressive in a safe environment. I think the only comment that really made me upset was "But, precisely because there is no vulnerability, no risk involved, and no opportunity for any kind of meaningful response, I think that it's an empty act." There is nothing more risky then to be completely honest with one's self and facing what is inside of you. You can't say that the only meaningful act someone can make is to tell someone who knows that person. For some kids just writing it down is a huge mountain, then to be expressive, creative AND let it out, that is so much more.
One of the things I have encountered in troubled, hurt people is that they don't think their issues are valid, or important. For that person to see on postsecret, the very thing they are going through says "wow, it was big enough for someone else to send it in" and that has even been said in replies to those post cards. (which the blogger does post when people respond to a card).
I don't link or agressivly promote this site because again, I don't look at it out of enjoyment, but because I believe it is a small thing someone is doing to make a big difference in a blogging generation. The fact that he has a tour show of the cards and books (which profits go to community projects and suicide help lines) says so much more than for someone to blog it and never know if anyone will see it, or respond.
Peoples emotions and thoughts are so complex that we can't say one thing works more than the other, each person is diffrent and has different needs. Again, the only true healing is through Christ, ANY other form of therapy is a product of our human nature and responce to it. Instead of discouraging these people from letting things out that they have never been able to admit, take a moment to read what they have to say, and pray for them.
This opinion comes from one who has been through much, and knows that the people closest to you can't always help. Imagine what torment it is to not have anyone at all?
hmmm...do you have a secret? Have you ever told someone everything? Or is there still something that you keep hidden inside of you?
-Mike Morabito
-Mike Morabito
Well, to answer that question, I'm sure that I do have a secret or two. I mean I tell lots of people what seems to be everything at the time. There is probably at least one person in the world who really feels like she knows everything about me. But the truth is, I aquire new secrets every day, and until I have someone to share with continually, someone who is close enough and trust worthy enough, and constantly commited enough, I won't be able to tell someone EVERYthing. And then there are some things in me that stay hidden by their own nature. Those secrets will make their escape when the time is right, I'm sure.
about your secrets... do you feel like you have A secret or a whole secret self? hmmmmm...
I once had someone who knew everything all the time... and now I have eleanor, who knows pretty much everything. Hey mike, I have you bottle :D
The original form of this idea was not a book, but a website called PostSecret, which I now realize is the linked website with the text "this guy" in your entry, which, by the way, is slightly confusing as I was expecting something specifically about "Frank," the guy who had the idea in the first place.
Rae first introduced me to the website last summer when we were both working at NZA. I was struck immediately with the impression (which I expressed) that it was insidious voyeurism promoting itself as being for a good cause. Yes, as you said, there is value in getting secrets out into the open, especially hard secrets, so that they don't sit and fester inside you. And yes, I suppose this website has had its uses, as many people claim they rejected suicide because of it, and people say they found comfort in other people who were courageous enough to share similar secrets.
However, I feel like this is just a cheap and ultimately empty substitute for true relationships. Seriously, why would anyone randomly put their deepest, darkest secret on a postcard and send it anonymously to a website to show the entire world? Is there really any true catharsis in that? I don't know what it is--perhaps a veiled, subconscious plea for attention, or maybe just the need to "get it out" in a safe and extremely non-vulnerable way. But, precisely because there is no vulnerability, no risk involved, and no opportunity for any kind of meaningful response, I think that it's an empty act. And as I said, I believe it's just a cheap way to make up for a lack of deep, authentic relationships in which these secrets can be shared in a meaningful way that allows for a sympathetic and edifying response.
Sorry to wax loquacious, and I'm sure Rae will disagree if she reads this, but I had to speak my mind. And at least I'm vulnerably speaking through a comment on a blog instead of sending a postcard through the mail. ;)